ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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