So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
