if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
