Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize