Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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