dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
