why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
