Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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