"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
