dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
