He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
