So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
