The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
