Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
