Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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