I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
