what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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