I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize