We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
