We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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