brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
