Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
