i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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