sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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