i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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