What a fucking waste of an outfit
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm sobbing to NWA
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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