Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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