I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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