I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
