So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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