So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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