Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
