Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
