I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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