Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
