Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
