Jerry, you need to find god
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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