I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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