so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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