THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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