Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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