You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
