Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
