His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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