I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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