Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
