It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
