Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
