Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
