I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
