the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
How naked do you want me to be?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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