I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
