i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You pole danced in your parka.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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