also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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