I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
True strength comes from lack of pants
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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