I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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