Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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