i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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