she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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