Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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