no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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