you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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